30 day meme
Dec. 14th, 2010 12:37 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
sprinkletheifDay 02 - Where you’d like to be in 10 years.
finished with school finally? i'd like to be a giant step down my chosen career path instead of one i was forced into out of necessity. i started working at CVS as a cashier because it was the only place that would hire me so close to christmas, and i was forced to stay there because it seemed that i had to support people who couldn't or wouldn't pay their share of things. at one point i was offered a fellowship in a schizophrenia research project at the cleveland clinic that could have padded my CV so nicely, but i had to turn it down because i had to support my household, and the fellowship only paid $7 an hour. it's a decision i have not stopped lamenting since. my boss at CVS was a terrific guy, and he made sure i advanced in this glamorous retail career of mine. i eventually dropped out of school because school wasn't paying the bills, and neither was my significant other or his 2 year old, so i found myself with a family to support and gave up any aspirations for something better. i just kept chugging up that corporate food chain.
then something happened.
with justin and i talking more frequently on a friendship level when he moved back from LA, he let me vent about this, and it was the first time i had talked about it to ANYONE. joey was a good guy, and he had enough pain with the passing of his father, so i didn't want to lay it all down on him. and nik was 2 years old... probably not going to go out and get a job... i slowly realized that i had given up my dreams and goals for a relationship i got nothing from, and i was quite spiteful. these are the mechanics that ended that relationship, just one of the many aspects i realized through finally being able to talk about it all. eventually i took a management position at gamestop and ended up with the worst boss i had ever had in all my years of employment. justin's salary allowed me to quit and relax for the first time since... jeeze, lakewood (though i wouldn't call recovering from a psychotic break "relaxing")? it was during this time that justin helped me figure out what i really wanted to do since i'd lost sight of it. he would ask me questions like "well, what makes you happy? what can you see yourself doing the rest of your life?" and it was at this point a plan began to form.
when his grandmother died, she left money for me to pay off what i owed kent state so i could finish my undergrad. education was incredibly important to her, especially since she hadn't gotten one. she was really into female empowerment, and that no woman should have to rely on a man, even if that man was her grandson. she also had faith in me, always marveled at how "smart" i was and lamented that i was wasting it in retail. i learned about what it would take to pursue a career in behavior analysis in certain law enforcement circles and now... 2 semesters of 4.0 later (well, this past semester is a guess, but 3 out of 5 classes are A's so the odds are good) i'm on my way. i took a practice LSAT (the law school admissions test) and got a 178. the most you can get is 180. i'm thinking my chances are pretty good.
its not that i want to see blood and gore and unspeakable acts of violence, its that i feel i have the skills to throw these depraved people in prison, or to get them the help they needed that they wouldn't have gotten without intervention. and yanno, if i fail at getting that far, i'll still be a lawyer, and that's one hell of a fall back. i plan on pursuing corporate and criminal law. each of which will have a future unless we're invaded by another country and all the laws are changed. then i'll be fucked, lol.
so i guess in 10 years, i picture myself as a law enforcement agent catching and putting away the worst of the bad guys (which is the goal). if not, i picture myself practicing law, either in the criminal or corporate sector, and hopefully making enough money that justin can relax the way his success in his career allowed me to in order to get my head on strait. either way i want to continue my education in social psychology once i've established a way of paying for it. i've been incredibly fascinated by this field and love the fact that it explains things about people that my asperger's has blocked me from comprehending naturally.
i would just rather have a career that is both lucrative and fulfilling, not misery driven like retail was. in retail, customers see you as their bitch. they say and do things to you they'd NEVER say and do to anyone else. one that sticks out in my mind in particular is a girl SCREAMING at the top of her lungs at me: "I'M not happy, what are YOU going to do to MAKE me happy?!" you know what she was pissed about? i dunno if you've ever seen those "sliding robots" on the as seen on TV circuit (they're little things you put under furniture to make it easier to move), but they were advertised as being on sale, and we were sold out. the store not even 7 miles down the road had them, and she refused to drive there because she came to MY store, and was demanding she get what she came for. the saddest part? she couldn't have been more than 20 years old... i understand that any time you put yourself in a position of service you run the risk of being someone's bitch, but that was just degrading because i couldn't punch the twat in the mouth.
finished with school finally? i'd like to be a giant step down my chosen career path instead of one i was forced into out of necessity. i started working at CVS as a cashier because it was the only place that would hire me so close to christmas, and i was forced to stay there because it seemed that i had to support people who couldn't or wouldn't pay their share of things. at one point i was offered a fellowship in a schizophrenia research project at the cleveland clinic that could have padded my CV so nicely, but i had to turn it down because i had to support my household, and the fellowship only paid $7 an hour. it's a decision i have not stopped lamenting since. my boss at CVS was a terrific guy, and he made sure i advanced in this glamorous retail career of mine. i eventually dropped out of school because school wasn't paying the bills, and neither was my significant other or his 2 year old, so i found myself with a family to support and gave up any aspirations for something better. i just kept chugging up that corporate food chain.
then something happened.
with justin and i talking more frequently on a friendship level when he moved back from LA, he let me vent about this, and it was the first time i had talked about it to ANYONE. joey was a good guy, and he had enough pain with the passing of his father, so i didn't want to lay it all down on him. and nik was 2 years old... probably not going to go out and get a job... i slowly realized that i had given up my dreams and goals for a relationship i got nothing from, and i was quite spiteful. these are the mechanics that ended that relationship, just one of the many aspects i realized through finally being able to talk about it all. eventually i took a management position at gamestop and ended up with the worst boss i had ever had in all my years of employment. justin's salary allowed me to quit and relax for the first time since... jeeze, lakewood (though i wouldn't call recovering from a psychotic break "relaxing")? it was during this time that justin helped me figure out what i really wanted to do since i'd lost sight of it. he would ask me questions like "well, what makes you happy? what can you see yourself doing the rest of your life?" and it was at this point a plan began to form.
when his grandmother died, she left money for me to pay off what i owed kent state so i could finish my undergrad. education was incredibly important to her, especially since she hadn't gotten one. she was really into female empowerment, and that no woman should have to rely on a man, even if that man was her grandson. she also had faith in me, always marveled at how "smart" i was and lamented that i was wasting it in retail. i learned about what it would take to pursue a career in behavior analysis in certain law enforcement circles and now... 2 semesters of 4.0 later (well, this past semester is a guess, but 3 out of 5 classes are A's so the odds are good) i'm on my way. i took a practice LSAT (the law school admissions test) and got a 178. the most you can get is 180. i'm thinking my chances are pretty good.
its not that i want to see blood and gore and unspeakable acts of violence, its that i feel i have the skills to throw these depraved people in prison, or to get them the help they needed that they wouldn't have gotten without intervention. and yanno, if i fail at getting that far, i'll still be a lawyer, and that's one hell of a fall back. i plan on pursuing corporate and criminal law. each of which will have a future unless we're invaded by another country and all the laws are changed. then i'll be fucked, lol.
so i guess in 10 years, i picture myself as a law enforcement agent catching and putting away the worst of the bad guys (which is the goal). if not, i picture myself practicing law, either in the criminal or corporate sector, and hopefully making enough money that justin can relax the way his success in his career allowed me to in order to get my head on strait. either way i want to continue my education in social psychology once i've established a way of paying for it. i've been incredibly fascinated by this field and love the fact that it explains things about people that my asperger's has blocked me from comprehending naturally.
i would just rather have a career that is both lucrative and fulfilling, not misery driven like retail was. in retail, customers see you as their bitch. they say and do things to you they'd NEVER say and do to anyone else. one that sticks out in my mind in particular is a girl SCREAMING at the top of her lungs at me: "I'M not happy, what are YOU going to do to MAKE me happy?!" you know what she was pissed about? i dunno if you've ever seen those "sliding robots" on the as seen on TV circuit (they're little things you put under furniture to make it easier to move), but they were advertised as being on sale, and we were sold out. the store not even 7 miles down the road had them, and she refused to drive there because she came to MY store, and was demanding she get what she came for. the saddest part? she couldn't have been more than 20 years old... i understand that any time you put yourself in a position of service you run the risk of being someone's bitch, but that was just degrading because i couldn't punch the twat in the mouth.