he who hears not the music thinks the dancer mad

i've never been ashamed of getting good grades, but today i actually felt like i was in high school again, only i wasn't the me i was in high school, i was one of the "nerd herd" as the jocks so lovingly called them.

i was sitting in my chem class (i sit up front). there's a row of girls that sit behind me and talk through pretty much every class (i've gotten into it with one of them over that). now, this is a huge 200+ person lecture hall with stadium-style seating (each row is higher than the next) so the person behind you can see what you're doing pretty easily. i furiously take notes every class period next to the powerpoint notes we can download and take to class, and every day since i started this class these bitches make fun of me like "jesus, what is she writing? he hasn't said anything interesting in 10 minutes!" pretty much like "look at the dork!"

whatever.

so today we had our midterm. before class i was going over my notes and stuff, just to refresh my mind and these bitches are behind me talking about "i haven't even looked at the notes" and "i never even bought the book, like OMG i'm so cool" then out of the blue, one of these whores leans forward and says "what's up dork girl?" then another one "yeah, how you doin' today dork girl?" i turn around and scowl at them (not so threatening with my glasses on, lol). the initial bitch says "hey dork girl, i'm talking to you." i turn around once again and stare at her. "so we're all going to copy off of you since you're a huge nerd or whatever."

my fucking blood ran cold. i answered with "we all sit up front, in front of the professor, don't you think he's going to notice?" to which they replied "we can see your desk just fine, just don't cover your answers."

i mean, did this bitch really think i'd go along with this? does she think i'm so desperate to be cool i'll fucking risk getting thrown out of college?!?

so there was a periodic table attached to the back of the test we were allowed to remove. i used that to cover most of my work, and i used my big-ass scientific calculator to cover my scantron. what the fuck, man. i never knew getting good grades was a bad thing, i don't understand why i'm made fun of because i'm getting good grades, and not just by these whores. i've been called "brainiac" behind my back by people pretty close to me who also make fun of me for my academic lifestyle.

whatever, so i don't want to spend the rest of my life as a manager at a drugstore. so i want to fucking make something of myself. my classes are fucking HARD, hence why premed isn't such a popular major. i have to study. i can't get into med school with C's and D's, hell, even B's look bad if they're low enough. i don't have mommy and daddy willing to take care of me for the rest of my life. i'm not going to marry a rich guy so i don't have to work. i want my own damn future with no one holding the fucking strings. i was sick of things being taken away from me so i am making an active effort to know that everything i have is MINE, i don't have to ask permission for shit because it's MINE.

ugh, that whole ordeal put me in a bad mood. i think i'll eat some chocolate or something and calm down. there's enough of it here, lol.