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sprinkletheifDay 19 - Disrespecting your parents.
i feel like everyone has disrespected their parents in some form or another be it consciously or not. in my teen years, i disrespected pretty much everyone in some way. i was angry, awkward and depressed, what do you expect? even still, i don't remember actually outwardly being disrespectful to my mom amidst the books flying at my head, fists of fury and full beer can black eyes. i do remember hitting her back once, and i dropped the broad. probably not one of my most sparkling moments, and to this day i feel really bad about it knowing what addict behaviour is, and that the person hitting me wasn't really her. I go through phases where i'm incredibly spiteful of her for many things, mostly being too selfish to raise a child and keeping me from my father, but the older i get the more i see a scared little woman with social anxiety that would make any of you look like social butterflies (even you two,![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
back_in_blackand shadowsound. oh and you guys should totally hook up because i think you'd get along famously. just putting it out there). the more i learn about the psychology of addicts, and the psychology of people in society, the more i understand her decisions. not condone, but understand. recently she's reached out to me in a "what about me? do you still like me?" kind of way, and she is so awkward around me. i feel i've got enough social anxiety and know enough people with massive scale social anxiety that i try to facilitate the conversations to keep her comfortable. i know i've spouted off many times about how much i hate her, but the truth is - i don't. i feel sorry for her, and not in that condescending way, but in that "i want to be there for her" way. she recently got an eyeful of what has become of my dad, and i think she was humbled. she actually teared up when she watched justin help him up some stairs to use the bathroom at my nephew's birthday party, and this was before he was 100% wheelchair bound. the dad thing is why i have held such a grudge against her for so long, and i think she sees why now.
wow, totally off topic.
it seems to me that our generation was the last generation with any respect for our parents. i hear shit out of kids mouths these days that would have gotten me smacked into next week. seriously, you'd come over looking for me and my mom would be all like "you'll have to come back next friday where her smart ass got put." and you'd be all like oO. it seems that children are increasingly running households, and that ain't right. parents are afraid to discipline their children for fear of repercussions, but it has created a generation of self-important fucktards that have no respect for elders or authority. like holding doors open for people, or saying sir and ma'am. that shit is dead with the younger generations. i'm sure there's exceptions, but not many.
me personally, i've learned a certain amount of respect for my parents, like not talking over them, not yelling at them, yanno, the basics. especially my father, as he's been disrespected his whole life, he deserves a little goddamn common decency. its sad that being treated like a human confuses him so much because he's been treated like a monster or a wallet all these years. and now that he's not got many years left, he just fucking deserves better.
i feel like everyone has disrespected their parents in some form or another be it consciously or not. in my teen years, i disrespected pretty much everyone in some way. i was angry, awkward and depressed, what do you expect? even still, i don't remember actually outwardly being disrespectful to my mom amidst the books flying at my head, fists of fury and full beer can black eyes. i do remember hitting her back once, and i dropped the broad. probably not one of my most sparkling moments, and to this day i feel really bad about it knowing what addict behaviour is, and that the person hitting me wasn't really her. I go through phases where i'm incredibly spiteful of her for many things, mostly being too selfish to raise a child and keeping me from my father, but the older i get the more i see a scared little woman with social anxiety that would make any of you look like social butterflies (even you two,
back_in_blackand shadowsound. oh and you guys should totally hook up because i think you'd get along famously. just putting it out there). the more i learn about the psychology of addicts, and the psychology of people in society, the more i understand her decisions. not condone, but understand. recently she's reached out to me in a "what about me? do you still like me?" kind of way, and she is so awkward around me. i feel i've got enough social anxiety and know enough people with massive scale social anxiety that i try to facilitate the conversations to keep her comfortable. i know i've spouted off many times about how much i hate her, but the truth is - i don't. i feel sorry for her, and not in that condescending way, but in that "i want to be there for her" way. she recently got an eyeful of what has become of my dad, and i think she was humbled. she actually teared up when she watched justin help him up some stairs to use the bathroom at my nephew's birthday party, and this was before he was 100% wheelchair bound. the dad thing is why i have held such a grudge against her for so long, and i think she sees why now.wow, totally off topic.
it seems to me that our generation was the last generation with any respect for our parents. i hear shit out of kids mouths these days that would have gotten me smacked into next week. seriously, you'd come over looking for me and my mom would be all like "you'll have to come back next friday where her smart ass got put." and you'd be all like oO. it seems that children are increasingly running households, and that ain't right. parents are afraid to discipline their children for fear of repercussions, but it has created a generation of self-important fucktards that have no respect for elders or authority. like holding doors open for people, or saying sir and ma'am. that shit is dead with the younger generations. i'm sure there's exceptions, but not many.
me personally, i've learned a certain amount of respect for my parents, like not talking over them, not yelling at them, yanno, the basics. especially my father, as he's been disrespected his whole life, he deserves a little goddamn common decency. its sad that being treated like a human confuses him so much because he's been treated like a monster or a wallet all these years. and now that he's not got many years left, he just fucking deserves better.